@Tirusulam

I came back and joined him at Library. Studied and did some time pass till 3-45 p.m. Then we felt like going to the canteen. But I didn’t want to go to canteen. So he changed his mind and we decided to go to ATM. We walked to ATM near Choolaimedu. Walk was nice and happening because we were fighting. Fighting does get violent at times. But I like fighting.

We reached the gate near station. As we were crossing the station I abruptly said that we could take a train and roam around a bit. I like local trains. I saw one empty train passing. So that was it. We came back from ATM and bought two up-down tickets to Tambaram and boarded the train. We did not know where are we going. We stood at the gate and he was calling me “chamak chhalloo’ and ‘baablloo’ and’ bubaloo’ and bubbly and all sort of names. I know he was overjoyed. I know strands of my hair were touching his face. I know I felt good about standing there with him and take the world on the face, the wind, the trees, the houses and everything.
He showed me places he would board the train to and from for the training at Trident.
Finally we got down at a station ‘Tirusulam’- I hope I have got the name right. Before boarding he said, I wish we were going to a Hillstation and we went to one.

The place had wide airprt connecting roads at one side and tree and jungle and stony hills on the other side. He showed the road to airport and told me that he left his wine opener and pen knife under a stone before boarding a flight to Delhi. He was in hurry. Then as we were walking at the station, I asked him it must have felt pathetic when the girl left him. He started talking about it. I made him listen to ‘mehfuz’ by Euphoria. The other day he told me ‘maine tumko mehfuz rakkha hai, na’. So it had that association. I know the song affected him and he became silent for a while as we were coming back.

We sat there for a long time. I think nearly an hour, in that station itself.
The place was magical where we were sitting. I never felt, it was in Chennai. Life can become very unexpected and unpredictable at times. I could see little cloudy, blue sky. Green .So much of green in front of my eyes. So soothing and comforting.
Then as the evening approached dark, we took return train. He was listening to songs and I was looking at him. He looks like ‘Apu’..there is complains and sadness, but no anger in his eyes. They look tired at times, but very deep and poignant. I told him, his eyes remind me of a kid, who has been denied a chocolate or ice cream.
( we had Choco glossy at cake park before boarding)

We came back. As we were walking back in the campus, I told him, I am doing wrong to him and God has made me meet him. I have left everything to God. I am not God, I don’t try to become God.

I don’t what do I want. I know. But I don’t. I feel awkward while replying Titi’s msgs sitting with him. And more so when I have to insert ‘kiss smileys’. Anyways. I am not God.