@KFC after rain, salvation

We finished FTA exam then fought with Lattu..den got drenched..went to canteen for indulgence..then finally headed to KFC in the arin. Johnny promised a drop back to hostel. So i got tempted.

Tomorrow is services makreting paper. I am yet to go thru the ppts. But waht more important in life?

I liked johnnyboy's this pic. He did not come.

@Shed..looking at the campus when it rains

And it Rained!

It came in the evening, from him..long after we fought..

We fought for silly reasons. But what matters is that, suddenly it became very cloudy and started raining..to melt away the distrust and anger and distance. As we kept standing in the parking shed, we saw the rain coming, and then reigning in the greenfields in front..sprinkling few drops of pleasure and heaven on our mind and body.. We were smiling!

15th Dec, 2009-7:25 p.m.
The shed stood still... so did the two.. the breeze with its chillness and its spray of drizzle.. the water flows in its natural calm, yet its turbulent ways... far ahead the rain fell to

shower every thing that came its way... a smile exudes from the gentle touch of droplets and wind.... A feeling of lightness.... right across the street... the busy trees sway with

every part of them touched by the drops that move across them... everything is still yet so moving... the voices i hear... the lush i see... the sway i feel... and the tremble i

feel... makes me flow in a way i ve no control over..... just like that piece of wood that was flowing its natural course.... the colour is black... the colour is green.... the sway is

black.. the sway is green... the smile is gentle and the sway is slow......

Spot U!

I loved clicking this Mr. Snail when Chennai became little wet!

@Tirusulam

I came back and joined him at Library. Studied and did some time pass till 3-45 p.m. Then we felt like going to the canteen. But I didn’t want to go to canteen. So he changed his mind and we decided to go to ATM. We walked to ATM near Choolaimedu. Walk was nice and happening because we were fighting. Fighting does get violent at times. But I like fighting.

We reached the gate near station. As we were crossing the station I abruptly said that we could take a train and roam around a bit. I like local trains. I saw one empty train passing. So that was it. We came back from ATM and bought two up-down tickets to Tambaram and boarded the train. We did not know where are we going. We stood at the gate and he was calling me “chamak chhalloo’ and ‘baablloo’ and’ bubaloo’ and bubbly and all sort of names. I know he was overjoyed. I know strands of my hair were touching his face. I know I felt good about standing there with him and take the world on the face, the wind, the trees, the houses and everything.
He showed me places he would board the train to and from for the training at Trident.
Finally we got down at a station ‘Tirusulam’- I hope I have got the name right. Before boarding he said, I wish we were going to a Hillstation and we went to one.

The place had wide airprt connecting roads at one side and tree and jungle and stony hills on the other side. He showed the road to airport and told me that he left his wine opener and pen knife under a stone before boarding a flight to Delhi. He was in hurry. Then as we were walking at the station, I asked him it must have felt pathetic when the girl left him. He started talking about it. I made him listen to ‘mehfuz’ by Euphoria. The other day he told me ‘maine tumko mehfuz rakkha hai, na’. So it had that association. I know the song affected him and he became silent for a while as we were coming back.

We sat there for a long time. I think nearly an hour, in that station itself.
The place was magical where we were sitting. I never felt, it was in Chennai. Life can become very unexpected and unpredictable at times. I could see little cloudy, blue sky. Green .So much of green in front of my eyes. So soothing and comforting.
Then as the evening approached dark, we took return train. He was listening to songs and I was looking at him. He looks like ‘Apu’..there is complains and sadness, but no anger in his eyes. They look tired at times, but very deep and poignant. I told him, his eyes remind me of a kid, who has been denied a chocolate or ice cream.
( we had Choco glossy at cake park before boarding)

We came back. As we were walking back in the campus, I told him, I am doing wrong to him and God has made me meet him. I have left everything to God. I am not God, I don’t try to become God.

I don’t what do I want. I know. But I don’t. I feel awkward while replying Titi’s msgs sitting with him. And more so when I have to insert ‘kiss smileys’. Anyways. I am not God.

About a month back

On 8th November, 2009

It has been raining. Last three four days have remained very moist in Chennai. It is pouring every now and then. Autowallahs are tired of charging high for water logged streets and rainy troubles. So we are paying regular even during heavy rain as it has become the normal state now.

Sunday morning should have been very sunny with coffee and omelette and nice sleep and some tagore song. But as luck would have it, I had a class from 10 a.m., Strategic marketing management. So I had go to college. Not to mention that I was happy about it. It gets candid at times when we confess certain things.
I reached and I was looking for him. I was not ready or willing to sit beside anybody else. I wanted to meet and talk to him, see him.

I was passing from the front of library to take the stairs and reach room 215 where class will be held. I saw him through the glass door. He saw me. Smiled. I smiled back. He was in the red tee which makes him look more like a raspberry ice cream. I waited outside. He came and we went to class.

Everything was going fine. Same chit chat session went on in class. Got one lesson from SMM- how to market your product at different stages of PLC. Later today I went back to Kotler to read ythe chapter on brand positioning where they explained marketing strategies related to PLC.

I went McDonald with Johnny, Priya, anjali and neha for lunch. I was not hungry. So I had only French fries and Vanilla ice cream. Neha was sad. Neha did not smile. Varun was also sad. I don’t know why do these kind of situations happen. But you cannot help it, cannot ignore it.

Boomerang

I have heard
U went away, that day..sailing on a wave to touch the blue sould of the sea and the horizon
I have heard
U went to the sea side..with Salty sand..u walked far, far away
I have never gone to the sea, never floated on a blue tide
My eyes have never seen that flying water bird and have flown with it
When will go again to the sea?
Will you take me along?
Please tell me, will you take me with you..
I have heard
You all have come together..
You all have spoken a lot..
You have been trying to solve a puzzle
You are asking..why are we ruuning here and there
Why are we talking and listening to only ourselves..
Why are we living only for ourselves?
If we can’t love and feel alone
Where should we go..where will we find peace

I have heard, you still dare to dream
You write stories
You sing for your soul
You still think of others whether they are dying or happy
Even today your love can bloom in a rose
I cannot keep faith now a days..today am restless
So I have come to knock at your door.
With my palms open, asking for help
In the deep of my eyes have seen emptiness and that scares me
It has been many days since I have dreamt
So I have come to you..
With my eyes open
With my hands stretching towards you..

Will you help me..

@Givelife

And our coffee breaks.

And our escapes.

And our orange juices.

More and more..
I would run away..
With you

'2' Songs dedicated

Here I am, lost in the light of the moon that comes through my window
Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divides the thorns from the roses
It's you and the roses

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go I will find my way when I see your eyes
Now I'm living in your afterglow

Here I am, lost in the ashes of time, but who owns tomorrow?
In between the longing to hold you again
I'm caught in your shadow, I'm losing control
My mind drifts away, we only have today

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go I will find my way
I will sacrifice 'til the blinding day when I see your eyes
Now I'm living in your afterglow

When the veils are gone, as I let you go, as I let you go

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go I will find my way, I will sacrifice
Now I'm living in your afterglow

Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divides the thorns from the roses
It's you who is closest

And you..

I know I will not and I cannot let many things happen because I am not a person who will be so. I do not have sufficient justifications. I am tired. I do not know what it is that will make me stop behaving the way I am behaving or I am feeling. Its so weird. Whenever he is away I feel an urge to be where he is. When he is sitting with me, I look at him and I don’t believe that he can move me so much.

"aise bolo ke dil ka afsana
Dil sune aur nigaahe dohoraye
Apne charo taraf ki yeh duniya
Saans ka shor bhi
Na sun paaye
Na sun paaye."

Little comfortable breeze blowing me, my hair, my ‘heaviness’ within, my glances. I hope he comes. I know I cannot be close. I will rather dare not to think so. I know he does not deserve me. He can only give me anger, confusion, helplessness and he will go. Then why am I standing here, waiting for what? How long?
I do not like what he does yet I wait to be with him. I know I will laugh at it when I will see it again after a very very long time.

Greenfields

How I love watching those trees, and the road and the golden sunlight and the yellow flowers from here.

I wish u were here @ Opu

I know he is stupid. He does not know we could be together little more if he was here. But I should not say this.
I know I fight, I go mad because I don’t want tlo miss a single minute of being a different me with him. I know how much I love myself when I am like this. When I know he is sitting by me and touchinh me his eyes, smile and all stupid gestures now and then. I feel little more relevenat of myself, I feel little more substantial whenever I am with him.

I know I may not have found this winter so special had not I loved myself so much. I don’t know, God, what I am doing, I don’t whether should I be punished for this.
I am listening to ‘swopno dekhbo bole’
I want to go to see with him. I want see the sunrise from the window beside skywalk. But I don’t dream. I will never dream. I know I would not be able to take it. I don’t what will give me peace. Why do I dream even today? Why do I feel so enthralled inside?

Campus@afternoon

Campus looks very dreamy from here. Its seems that a golden dream is being melted and spread upon us. Here comes anurag running and hands throwing in the air. Finance people are going crazy doing their corporate taxation assignment. Lot of assignments. I don’t bother much. I look at the pale green leaf lying in front of me, at a distance golden dream has spread its wing on the red surface, and they have created a pink canopy abovehead.

Yellow flowers are dancing in the breeze, little distance makes it more glittery, shiny and heavenly. I don’t know proper words for it. I wish to become a fairy and run through them, getting drowned in them.
I cannot see him. I know he is there, somewhere nearby. I can call him, I can see him whenever I wish. But this won’t remain so. I have never has this kind of winter before and I am never going to have another again. I know I am getting drenched, I am getting thrilled with so much of joy. This is coming from within. I am enthralled at times looking at myself. I am overflowing at times.
I can see a dark pink star hanging in the wind in front of the Christmas crib. I should have been siiting inside and doing the project . But this ambience stimulated me to come out in the midst of everything.

Gallopin Gooseberries

I don’t know how can people run so fast, where I feel like sitting here with my eyes wide open and relishing every bit of winter in a very unfamiliar way.
Yesterday I liked running through the Greenfield and I know I am loving myself more and more. I loved the orange juice and my blue shirt with white capri. \I loved sitting by the window of gallopin gooseberries on Sunday.

Colours of December

8th December, 2009
2:37 pm.
I am sitting here listening to ‘now am living in your afterglow’. I am sitting at the OAT.
I can see red, yellow, green and I can see light!
I can see myself in the screen of the laptop. I like what I see. I am supposed to finish the strategic planning portion for the SMM business plan.