And you..

I know I will not and I cannot let many things happen because I am not a person who will be so. I do not have sufficient justifications. I am tired. I do not know what it is that will make me stop behaving the way I am behaving or I am feeling. Its so weird. Whenever he is away I feel an urge to be where he is. When he is sitting with me, I look at him and I don’t believe that he can move me so much.

"aise bolo ke dil ka afsana
Dil sune aur nigaahe dohoraye
Apne charo taraf ki yeh duniya
Saans ka shor bhi
Na sun paaye
Na sun paaye."

Little comfortable breeze blowing me, my hair, my ‘heaviness’ within, my glances. I hope he comes. I know I cannot be close. I will rather dare not to think so. I know he does not deserve me. He can only give me anger, confusion, helplessness and he will go. Then why am I standing here, waiting for what? How long?
I do not like what he does yet I wait to be with him. I know I will laugh at it when I will see it again after a very very long time.